Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
