And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize