butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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