I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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