he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
vagina is talking i cant
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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