Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
