I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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