I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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