I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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