return my video game
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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