I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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