Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
