just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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