she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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