maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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