Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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