Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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