she kept yelling 'call me bella'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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