so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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