goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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