ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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