ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
