I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
