I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
