my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
