btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
