You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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