Porn is love you can see.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
