You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
