i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
