He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
