I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
