Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
third nipple confirmed
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
