Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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