Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize