You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
