And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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