dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
