I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
