well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
