I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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