Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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