she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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