At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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