just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
