hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize