i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
