Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize