Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
