so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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