Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
