I wannas sexs uuuuu
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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