And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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