I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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