Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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