I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
