Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize