We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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