what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
