her vagine was all disorganized.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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