this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize